Tuesday, September 18, 2007


I don't understand them. I don't understand their inability to communicate. I don't understand how when you tell them how you feel they distance themselves...yet, they hold you like they feel the same.

Don't they understand that it is just as scary for us to enter into what could potentially break our hearts...yet, again. I am terrified of the feelings that I have. I have communicated on many occassions that if he does not see a future between us then to go ahead and end things, but he says he wants to continue. I am trying to take every precaution to not get hurt because honestly...I cannot deal with that again. It is too soon.

I have given him an out....many times, but he says he cares about me and wants to continue to see me. When I hear those words it makes me so very happy. I could live on that giddyness for days. BUT...then just when the giddyness starts to wear off then it is 5 days later and I still have not heard from him. Why? Is it that he has decided that he no longer wants this? If so...tell me. Is it that the feelings he has scare him? Great...I want to hear about it. I would love to hear that...then maybe I would not be on this roller coaster any longer. What are we? What are we doing? I just need to know. No promises....just honesty.

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